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You’ll be an awful mom

July 14, 2010

My husband and I have just started announcing the impending arrival of baby Kyzer this December and I have been flooded with kindness, sweet words of encouragement and happy wishes. Not one person has even hinted that I might not be completely qualified for my next gig – mommyhood.

Which is certainly what you’d expect, and not just because I will be a great mom (if I do say so myself). But it simply wouldn’t be proper etiquette to tell someone – even a close friend or relative – that you didn’t think they’d be a good parent. It’s just not the kind of thing you say in typical social circles, right?

I’m personally a huge fan of candor – both personally and professionally. And I’ll dish it out just like I take it. You can ask my husband. 😉 I simply find that in most situations I would prefer an honest answer rather than someone telling me something that isn’t accurate, or worse, getting my hopes up for future disappointment.

Candor played a big role in my professional philosophy building and managing the U.S. Army’s social media strategy. Largely because I think a lack of candor is epidemic across the military culture, especially in the Pentagon. When it came to how our engagements were going or what I thought the next steps would be I would voice them, as high up in our chain of command as they needed to be actioned. Social media is largely about feedback and conversation and if the person managing your social media efforts can’t drive that conversation back into your office, you risk creating a hallow social media program that’s more about appearances than results.

Candor has its risks, and it has to be done right. It’s not, as one more narrow-minded colleague once put it “just telling a two-star general to shut-up.” Even I, the queen of candor, wouldn’t do that. But it does mean carefully and confidently expressing what you know to be right, when it needs to be said. That’s how you build integrity and open communication in an organization.

Now, I do expect some candor when it comes to my impending role as mom. I’ll have my own mom around, as well as church friends who will let me know how my impatience and sometimes selfishness may not be the best fits for my new role. They’ll offer their advice and give me a nudge in the right direction. Which is always how good candor is dished out – with a helping hand to go with it.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Lesley Lykins permalink
    July 15, 2010 2:27 pm

    Lindy,

    I’m not sure anyone knows what to expect really when going into parenthood. You somehow manage though. If you need any baby items (including a ton of baby boy clothes) let me know! In the spirit of candor I think you will make a great mother if for no other reason you already have to be a wonderful multi-tasker.

    • July 15, 2010 6:37 pm

      Hey Lesley! It’s great to hear from you! I agree that entering parenthood for the first time you can never be fully prepared, but we sure are excited for all of the new challenges – and definitely a lot of multi-tasking!

      Definitely stay in touch and I will let you know about the baby things – we’ll hopefully find out if our little one is a boy or a girl in a couple of weeks, and I can’t wait to start getting ready!

      -Lindy

  2. Kim Kellison permalink
    July 15, 2010 10:09 pm

    Congrats to you & Jason!! It will definitely be a new adventure for you both. I’m looking forward to reading your posts!!

  3. ash washington permalink
    July 18, 2010 11:31 pm

    Awww, Lindy, don’t you worry a bit… when it comes to raising kids in this day and age, candor takes on a totally differnt meaning!! You will be a super mom… just remember to enjoy every portion of the ride!! I miss you already and i’m not even at work!! Best wishes to you and Jason through your preggo stages!!

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